Waiting in the ER

“This is the time to make mistakes. Get lost but end up finding ourselves even more. Live life because we’re young and when look back we don’t want to say that we should’ve, we want to say that we did. After today let’s promise to make an impact. Maybe on the world or maybe just on one person, but let’s make sure that our generation is remembered as the ones that owned every second this world had to offer.”

 Those are the words running through my head. The words that our Valedictorian had spent so much time writing were the words that ended up making a huge impact on my life, because thanks to those words, I was now in Purgatory.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~

Today I woke up and got dressed for what seemed to be one of the worst days of my life, my high school graduation. The endless parties and immature behavior were now coming to a closing. The speech had been epic. My friends and I had all of a sudden turned tears into laughter and had now entered a yolo state of mind. We realized that today was the last day we’d be seniors. After this day reality would literally become too real. We might as well enjoy this last night. So of course the after party at Matt’s house made it so much easier for us to have a fun and reckless night.

 He supplied us with drugs that I’d never even heard of, but why should we worry, we’re only young once. By 10 p.m. I couldn’t even remember my name. I caught a glimpse of Keith staring at me from afar. He’d asked me out before but I rejected him every time. Now that I was high and wasted all at once, I didn’t care about anything, I just wanted to have fun all night long. So I managed to get myself over to him and literally offered myself to him because that’s all my body wanted.

 We made our way to the first bedroom we could find and had endless sex, at least that’s what it felt like. I thought back at how much I wanted to wait for marriage and then thought about what everyone else always told me which was that there was no point in waiting when sex doesn’t necessarily need to be related to love.

 Keith knocked out right after, ending the fun, so I left and found Max and his friends, the popular boys. They were so drunk and invited me for a ride in a convertible that they were “Borrowing.” I said yes without hesitation because so far this seemed to be the best night of my life.

 Feeling the wind run through my hair, singing and laughing in the dark hours of the night, it all seemed oh so perfect until the moment I felt my head just bang so hard on the concrete that I didn’t even have time to come to terms with what had just happened.

 A second after I was in the ER. I wasn’t sure who I was waiting for but after a while I saw a body. And when I got close I realized that it was me. As I saw my family members arrive with tears covering their faces I realized that I’d made an impact, just not the one I wanted to make. I thought back at what had happened and couldn’t believe it.

 

The only question is, after just one night of careless mistakes, where would God send me next?

The Bus Stop

Note: This is written from the perspective of a guy.

Never had she ever fallen in love, but as she stood staring out her bedroom window, love was the only word that could possibly describe what she was feeling. Because as he stood there perfectly soaked, she knew that she no longer belonged to herself.

For a second she felt like it was the first day they’d met. Her staring out her window like always and he standing by the bus stop at exactly 7:15 a.m. That day he turned to look at her with the most beautiful expression she’d ever seen. He saw her staring at him while smiling, and he smiled back because he knew he felt it too.

Today as she stayed staring, he also stared back. He kept his posture and vision solely focused on her. I have no doubt that he knows she loves him, because she promised she always would.  

Miss him is all she does. Hope that they will be together one day is all she thinks about. Most would say that she’s obsessed with what was but I say that she’s hopeful.

For a second it seemed as if he was about to go to her. Maybe he was, although she would never know. All she knew was that everything that they once had was destroyed by the one thing they couldn’t control, time.

After everything that’s happened she knows that she’ll never love someone the way she loves him. It was he who made it possible to be able to love and not want anything else. Thanks to him she knows what love really is.

As I stared out my window, I thought about what I had witnessed. The relationship that most people think could never exist, did. All of the flowers and the chocolates, things that I knew I could do for her as well.

The bus soon arrived and he had no choice but to take his eyes off of her. Not because he still loved her, but because he loved the memories that came with her cheesy smile. Time had made sure that no affection towards her was left in his heart. He no longer holds on to what was but looks forward to what life has yet to offer.

She’s hurting now, as she sees the bus pull away from the curb, but she realizes that he himself had pulled away a long time ago by taking himself out of her life.

Later that night I found her by the bus stop and I wiped her tears away, telling her that the first love is always the hardest and that the last love won’t be any easier, because in reality, true love is the most difficult thing we’ll experience. She laughed because I was supposed to be cheering her up, and here I was talking negatively. When I saw her laugh, I remembered every moment that we spent together this past year. Getting to know each other and falling in love even more. Every time I see her I know that I no longer belong to myself. It is she who makes it possible to be able to love and not want anything else. It’s thanks to her that I now know what love really is, and I’ll make sure that I bring real meaning to the words, “I’ll love forever.”

As I grabbed her hand and got on one knee I looked up and she was no longer crying. We stared into each other’s eyes and forgot about everything and everyone before the moment she said yes.